Well, I quess it has been awhile since I blogged.  I am just going to follow my friends way of blogging and just write.   So what thoughts have been spinning around in me?   I am frustrated with our current state of housing.  I am frustrated with the way it looses heat, wastes heat and is so unnatural.   I am on a quest to change, change the way I view and use my house.   I am sick of this materialistic, I have it all together, my house is a catalog view that I keep failing at.  Why fight it?  I am just going to change.   It is hard to think of ripping my wall out to put in a cob wood stove with a cob couch on the other side, both of course absorbing and spreading heat through the cob wall when our house is up for sale.  So one more month I think on the market, and that will be all I can handle.   In the waiting I am researching in floor heating, some system for storing heat in the ground throughout the year, better winter window add-ons,  any other alternatives I can.  If I could rip all the walls out of my house and rebuild them in other places to make the layout of my house work better for our lifestyle what would I do?  So I am dreaming, pondering, planning.   Even if the house sells and we move, these thought will be for the new place too.

O my then there is the outside, hee hee.  I tell you here is my thought on grass:  if there was a plant that cost more money and time than all the flowers and trees in your garden and it still didn't look perfect wouldn't you rip it out? hell ya!  that is what I feel about grass, what a waste of garden space.   So I am planning.  My poor husband, he keeps me grounded, or else my yard and house would be a constant construction zone.   Interesting to study how we came to have a front lawns, farms didn't have a yard of just grass, who trained us to desire it?  who made a shit load of money off of us to have this plant that constantly needs more work than it  is worth to make it perfect.  

Yes it is a day of thinking of the whys and why nots.  

first blog

Well here I am with my own blog, a place I can share my deep thoughts. hmmmm where do I start. I had this deep thought about hard times, and perspectives, and I guess the difference between my perspective and God's. As I was recently in a position to be trusting God to provide my family with money, I began the journey of learning to trust in God in all things. He did say He would provide all my needs. He is able to bring money and provisions in by the birds, or make it grow on trees, He is able, he could do that if he wanted. But He didn't do it that way. But something interesting happened in my heart, I waited on Him. I continued to remind myself of His character, and constantly brought my worries back to rest on His character.
I also realized, thank you Holy Spirit, that my children often have difficulties trusting when I say something because they think their "reality" or the way they see things is the only way, the only reality. The truth is there is many things or circumstances or events that they cannot foresee or understand, or connect to the present time. Their are children, that is the way it is, so it makes my job hard sometimes because I have to help them understand that I see the bigger picture sometimes. Then it dawned on me that God also sees the bigger picture, the huge picture, way more than I can, He knows me and all my quirks, my past and how it is affecting my present, He knows where my tomorrow goes, He knows what things I am presently thinking that are standing in the way of my tomorrows. And I trusted a little more. I also began to examine my heart and see what was the Lord trying to teach me? circumstances do not determine who we are they reveal who we are.
I also, thank you again Holy Spirit, remembered a time in my youth that I felt after coming back from bible school, that the Lord wanted me to go back and work at the dry cleaners. Now the doubt played in my head, the dry cleaners! what! yes the dry cleaners! I had a boss that would come in drunk sometimes, now he never hurt us, he would just say things like "this is my castle and you are all my slaves" He did work really hard at his business and to train us. I worked the front counter and had to deal with angry people sometimes. Which I grew to love doing, I love customer service and doing all that, looking back anyways, but it was in that place that I learned a complaining customer is a person who likes your business and wants to continue shopping there, there is just one little thing that is standing in their way, and they want help fixing it so they can return to their enjoying dropping their clothes off there. It is the customers that do not come and complain or let you know that they have a problem that is sad, because they just do not ever come back.
So how does this tie in? I learned a lot of skills in this work environment that I still depend on today! Not only learning to deal with people, but I, now a mother and wife, learned how to iron, and look after stains on clothes. But bigger than all that I learned that God sometimes arranges things that at the time make no sense, but down the road they were the exact circumstances that I needed to develop my character and the exact skills that I needed to be able to do the things I love, that at the time in my youth I had not even been able to imagine that I would be doing or enjoying. Where are you in life? slow down, what is how you are responding to your circumstances saying about you and your character? Lean on God, He knows the bigger picture, He knows your future, He knows what thoughts and believes that you are caring that are stopping you from accomplishing your goals and dreams. Do you trust Him. Then let your circumstances pass over you like a wave of water, and learn from it. alyssa